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[26 August 2006] |
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music |
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None...unfortunately. |
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Although it's only been a matter of days since my last update, it feels like it's been forever.
So, for your an enjoyment, a recap of what's been happening while I have been gone...
School
School started a couple weeks ago and I was glad to get thrown back into that sort of schedule again. I like all the classes I am currently taking. I decided not to take astronomy this semester, and instead enrolled in the newspaper writing class. So I am back as a staffer on Talon Marks - which is good because I missed it.
I also recently found out that I was accepted into the college's Teacher TRAC program. It kinda looks like I will be staying down here to go to college at Cal State Long Beach. But...maybe that's a good thing.
Work
My work schedule has been kinda crazy since we are short-handed at work right now. My boss recently hired two new people, one of which I've already met. I get to help train them...lucky me.
On the bright side, after several months of relentess emails, I finally negotiated a raise with my boss. I wasn't sure what to expect, but he gave my a .75 cent raise...which isn't bad, considering I was hoping to get at least $1. My new rate starts as of September 1st.
Other Stuff
I recently started seeing this new dude. He's pretty cool...and cute.
More on this development later.
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| M.I.A. |
[10 August 2006] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Brooke Hogan - "About Us" |
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I know, I know. I have been hiatus for much of the last two weeks - as it seems everyone on my "friends" list has been as well. I figured I had time to do a quick update now that things have slowed down a bit.
So, I'll briefly recap the good, the bad, and the ugly of the last couple of weeks.
The Good
- had a "spa day" with my Mom
- got acrylics back on my nails
- registered for school
- been flirting more with David (a.k.a. The Video Store Guy)
- also been talking to this random Asian dude from work...haven't gotten his name yet
- meeting with the HR manager tomorrow about wages/promotion
- finally conquered my wireless internet
The Bad
- boss left on vacay without first discussing plans of my future at NRH
- been having a series of "bad days" lately
- had one of my superiors get unusally sarcastic and harsh with me
- unhappiness at work has lead to sending out of dozens of resumes
- got stood up for an interview by an up-and-coming musician
The Ugly
- got attacked via email by a co-worker who criticized my work habits
- had to wait almost 2 hours in line at the admissions and records office just to HAND them a paper
Things have been quite busy to say the least. Troubles - on all levels - at work have prompted me to start seeking employment elsewhere. I am just so sick of the way they handle employee concerns.
School starts Monday, as well. Lovely. I will be taking 18 units, Monday through Thursday, and also working 39 hours a week as well. Busy, again...
I'll try to update in the next few days. My meeting tomorrow with the HR manager should be interesting. We'll see what happens.
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| BTW... |
[29 July 2006] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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music |
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DHT - "Listen to Your Heart" |
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I almost had to check myself into the Emergency Room on Friday morning because my legs were in so much pain because of the previous days' workouts (I had the session Wednesday with my PT, and I also rode my bike Thursday night). I woke up Friday and couldn't move my legs.
When I finally was able to move them, I could barely walk. I couldn't sit down without having a shooting pain in my legs. I couldn't even lay down. I was a fuc*ing cripple.
I was in so much pain that I had to call in sick to work.
I was taking Advil every two hours. I was popping pills like an addict. NOTHING helped.
I was supposed to have another session with my personal trainer on Friday night, but after spending most of the day in pain, I went to LA Fitness and told him that I was almost admitted into the ER that morning because of the pain.
He was nice about it and didn't charge me for the session, and instead helped me stretch out a bit. It hurt so much. He also gave me some glutamine powder mixed with some Gatorade to help the soreness in my muscles.
Needless to say, I stayed sore for the rest of the night.
I woke up this morning somewhat relieved because I actually got to sleep through the night without the pain bothering me.
I was still aching today, and I still cannot bend my knees all the way. It hurts to walk up stairs and to kneel.
Hopefully, I'm better tomorrow.
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[29 July 2006] |
JoJo - "Too Little, Too Late"
[Verse 1]
Come with me
Stay the night
Just say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand
And you say you've changed
But boy you know your begging don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)
So let me go now
'Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know...
[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
Yeah yeaaahhh... It's just too little too late... Mhmmm
[Verse 2]
I was young
And in love
I gave you everything
But it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)
Go find someone else
And letting you go
I'm loving myself
You got a problem
But don't come asking me for help
'Cause you know...
[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
[Bridge]
I can love with all of my heart, baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live
Ohhhh... mmm nooo
It's just too little too late
Yeaahhhh...
[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
You know it's just too little too late [2x]
[Chorus]
It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You're just a good chase
So be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
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| Now I know my ABC's... |
[29 July 2006] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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music |
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Brooke Hogan - "About Us" |
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Summer is winding down and soon it will come to an abrupt halt. I know this because I registered for my fall classes last night, as school is a mere three weeks away.
This semester I am back to taking a full course load – a total of 18 units (I wanted to take more but I have to see a counselor first.) And that’s only at Cerritos. I may be taking an online course or two at another college. We’ll see…
But, for now, here’s what my fall schedule looks like:
Monday
8:00-9:30 a.m. – Philosophy 100
9:30-11:00 a.m. – English 240
6:00-7:00 p.m. – Art 110
Tuesday
8:00-9:30 a.m. – Speech 130
9:30-11:00 a.m. – Journalism 101
1 Hour Break
12:00-3:30 p.m. – Astronomy 102
Wednesday
See Monday
Thursday
8:00-9:30 a.m. – Speech 130
9:30-11:00 a.m. – Journalism 101
Friday
No scheduled classes
I’m always excited when school starts. I love being thrown into such strict and disciplined environments again. I even like doing homework…most nights that is. I am really excited about this semester.
After I complete these classes, I will be four classes away from my associate’s degree/general education transfer certification. (I just need my two math classes, political science class and laboratory science class.) I will have finished all the required classes to transfer with an A.A. in journalism.
Yay for me. I’m really proud of myself…even if it did take a little longer than expected. I will be moving up to Chico next fall…at least that’s what my plans are right now. Because I realized I could not choose between journalism and education, I will be doing both – as a double major. Much more work, I know…but I want my teaching credentials as well as a B.A. in journalism.
Some of the classes I am taking this semester are transferable and go towards the classes needed for the teaching credentials.
I’m really excited. I keep reading stuff about teaching and I’m really looking forward to (eventually) starting in my own classroom. There’s actually a lady who comes in almost every other week to get her car worked on at the dealership, and she teaches first grade. I always see her grading tests and laying out her lesson plan, or putting together workbooks. It reminds me of my elementary days and gets me excited about the work I’ll do as a teacher.
So, school starts in a matter of weeks. At the beginning of the semester, I always say how excited I am and how well I’ll do in my classes. However, that perspective often fades. So for this semester, I am not going to hold such high expectations…I will just let it come to me. That way I won’t be let down.
Wish me luck…
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[26 July 2006] |
Before the Gym
So, I’m going to the gym for the first time today. I went on Monday to LA Fitness and signed up; today is my first work-out session and I have a free hour with a personal trainer.
I’m really nervous. I’ve never been part of a gym before – partly because I’ve always been somewhat self-conscious about my weight. I felt intimidated working out next to people who actually knew what they were doing; I’ve never worked out on anything except a treadmill before.
I’m nervous in part too because there were several cute guys I saw there – and I always get nervous around guys. Today, I will have to work out in front of them – flab hanging out and all.
I hope the trainer is nice and shows me how to use the machines. I think I’m more nervous that I’ll come back into the gym again and not know how to use the machines – and I don’t want to risk looking like a fool.
I didn’t get much of a tour the other day either. Maybe they will do that today.
60 minutes may not seem that long, but when you’re working out and sweating like a pig in front of guys you’re trying to make an impression on, it seems like eternity.
I’ll update later on…wish me luck.
After the Gym
OMG. My personal trainer kicked my ass. Fu*k. I realized how out of shape I was within the first few minutes of warming up on the bicycle machine. We worked on my legs...did some of those leg curls and leg press things. My first session was free, but I wanted to sign up for a few more. So, I dished out $127.00 for another four sessions. (So broke now!)
[My next session is on Friday and we will be working on my arms...with another male instructor that I have yet to meet.]
I was sweating like a pig...felt so nasty! I was so parched, and my legs were so sore that I felt that my knees were going to buckle and throw me to the floor. I wanted to collapse!
Hopefully, it's not like that on Friday. Maybe I will go jogging tomorrow after work - we'll see.
I also went to the store and picked up a cartful of healthy food - salads, bottled water, fruit, carrots...the whole lot.
I've officially started the journey to the new Kristin. Yay for me!
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[24 July 2006] |
So, this old man walked up to the desk today at work and said to me, “I found a 100 dollar bill over there with my picture on it.”
He looked so serious I wasn’t sure if he was kidding or if he was just a little off the rocker, so I asked, “Your picture on it?”
And he was like, “Yeah…I’m the only one who poses like this.” And he proceeded to do this dainty, funny pose.
I started laughing and the guy was like, “See…I got you to laugh!”
And the whole time I was reminded of my grandfather…because he used to do goofy stuff like that. I used to hate it when he would embarrass me like that in front of my friends, and now it’s something about him that I realize I took for granted. Something I didn’t know I missed until he was gone.
I’ve had a lot of encounters lately where these little old men remind me of the grandfather I miss so much. And it hurts. But I am thankful for the little things that remind me of him…because I know he’s there.
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| Rekindled Feelings |
[22 July 2006] |
I got an interesting phone call tonight...several in fact. My phone kept going off during the movie (I went to go see "Pirates of the Carribean" with my cousin), and I called back the number that had appeared for FOUR missed calls.
Low and behold, the caller turned out to be Jose.
We ended up talking for a while, something I realized I missed. We talked about work and school; we also discussed his latest hospital visits. We talked about Ralphs, the strike, his family. We did a lot of catching up - talk that I was thankful for.
Because of his recent misdemeanors, his parents have put him under semi-house arrest; he can't go out all the time and he is banned from driving his car.
Towards the end of our conversation he asked when he would get to see me...which took me aback, but was also a welcome surprise. I told him that I would be passing through Glendale tomorrow evening on my way home, and that we might possibly be able to get some ice-cream or something of the sort.
It was nice talking to him - brought back memories of times before when things between us were good...how they should be. There are still many things I want to tell him - things that have gone unsaid for too long now. I pray that I get the chance to do that.
There's a part of me that sees Jose as a guy that needs to be nurtured and taken care of...and I really want to be the one who gets him back on his feet, healthy and off the drugs that hurt him - for good.
I hold onto that glimmer of hope...as I have for almost three years now. Hope in the strong is a force to be reckoned with.
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[16 July 2006] |
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mood |
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Wish List
Excuse me while I get an early start on Christmas.
1. New Computer. Preferably a tablet PC...or something of the likes.
2. New Phone. Still debating as to which phone I want - Sidekick III or MDA. Good reviews on both.
3. Sewing Machine. I have yards of fabric that need to be put to work, and quite frankly I am sick of doing everything by hand.
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| Means Girls II |
[12 July 2006] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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music |
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Shakira - "Hips Don't Lie" |
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"Mean Girls" took on a new meaning when I recently witnessed first-hand how cruel some girls can really get (I now know why my group of female friends are limited!)
Girls are very manipulative. They will lie to gain your trust, then use your friendship for their personal gain.
Girls backstab and will try to tear others down - including their own "friends" - in hopes of building themselves higher.
Girls will try to use derogatory and slanderous words to mask their own explicit behavior. They will call other girls "whores" and "sluts" to hide their own unbridled promiscuity.
Some girls will even choose male objects of affection over their supposed friends, oven uncovering their own insecurity about themselves and sexuality.
Girls are selfish liars and will do anything in their power to make themselves look better than those around them. Their jealousy drives them. They will steal, cheat, lie...all in hopes of looking better than you, in every way possible.
Girls are mean things.
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| Cuteness |
[12 July 2006] |
This is what David looks like.
Think Karl from Love Actually - glasses included!
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| On Loneliness |
[10 July 2006] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Kelly Clarkson |
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"Is anybody out there?/Does anybody see?/Sometimes loneliness is just a part of me/Who will be the one to save me from myself?...Who's going to catch me when I fall?" (Ashlee Simpson)
I've been thinking a lot lately about why I've been so unhappy...and I've come to the conclusion that part of my unhappiness stems from the fact that I am alone.
As much as I'd like to believe I am happy as a single 20-something-year-old, the truth is I am not. Someone once said that in every living thing there is a desire to be loved and needed...and I am beginning to feel the want to have those things again.
I'm jealous of couples. Of the happiness that seems to come along with a relationship. Of babies. Of being together.
Because those are all things I want.
Someone also said that you can't look for love...that it must make its way to you. But I have to tell you...I have been waiting, and I have yet to see my love pass through.
I don't understand how I can be alone. There are girls out there far less prettier than me, less smart, less career-driven...and they still manage to have boyfriends and husbands. HOW?
Am I not looking when I should be? Am I not what guys want? Do I offer too much? Am I not pretty enough for them? Am I too smart? Do my ambitions and goals intimidate them? WHAT?
I ask these questions...and so many more. But I don't know...and I continuing not knowing.
Those faith-affiliated family members of mine tell me that I have to "trust the Higher Powers"...that love "will come when I least expect it."
Well, I have had low expectations and I have yet to see even a glimpse of what opportunity looks like.
What do you do then?
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| An Irish Ode |
[10 July 2006] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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Bury Your Dead - "10 Minute Romance" |
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I still get that feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see a picture of him.
My heart still feels like it's about to fall out onto the floor, shattering the already cracked pieces.
Tears still manipulate my masked feelings for him - the ones that won't go away.
I still ache from the sound of his voice, his laughter.
It breaks me to know that behind his lies were truths.
There was no goodbye, just an ending.
Sadness becomes me.
Overwhelms me.
Drowns me.
© Kristin Parker 2006
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| ...and Even Harder. |
[29 June 2006] |
I may have mentioned this in a previous entry, but I have a somewhat obvious crush on my video guy (you know…the guy at the local video store who rents my movies and gives me good deals.)
The only reason I drive across town to rent videos at this mom-and-pop sort of video store is to see him.
I make several trips in one day if I happen to catch him on a day he works. I’ll even make excuses to call the video store, just so I can hear his voice.
Yesterday, I needed to stop by because several of my videos were due and I wanted to make one trip on the way home.
However, when I walked in and saw him, I knew it wouldn’t be the last time that night.
I drove home so I could change and re-do my make-up, and after watching TV for a little bit, headed back to the video store.
He smiled at me as I came in, and I saw him watching me while I looked at videos.
As I went up to pay, I had the urge to engage in actual conversation with him, but I refrained. There was a point, though, where he looked at me and smiled…he smiled like he knew why I had come back.
Anyway…I ended up leaving without his name and number for the hundredth time in a row.
But I did call him back though, and I asked him when my videos were due. Haha. Though, that feeble attempt proved to be to no avail.
I will venture back to the video store tonight…hopefully, he’s there. If he is, I plan to make an actual move this time. Cross my heart.
P.S. He has the most adorable smile!
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| Fall Hard |
[29 June 2006] |
I have taken to a guy at my work…a salesperson.
And it’s weird because he isn’t the type of guy I usually fall for. He’s a nerd. He’s always in a suit. He slicks his hair back. He’s a few years older than me. And he can be as rude and as stubborn as me sometimes. But he also seems like he’s a nice guy…dare I say dateable.
I hardly think he knows I exist, let alone have a continuing infatuation for him. The only time we talk is when he comes over to bring me pre-checks. And even then talk is limited and his words have an edge to them.
I’m not one to make bold moves; the last time I attempted that feat, I failed miserably. I don’t think I could ever bring myself to even subtly hinting to him that I was interested – for fear he might look at me and laugh.
Crushes are never beautiful things…
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| Hypocrites are a No-No |
[29 June 2006] |
I don’t understand how some people can be so hypocritical. They can spout the ideas of a Christians, yet they refuse to integrate these morals and beliefs into a system that’s congruent with their lifestyle.
I admit to at times being hypocritical, but not when it comes to my belief system. I don’t claim to be Catholic, then run around engaging in sexual activities, or spewing hatred onto those I don’t like. I have my beliefs, though informal and unorganized, and I will not make self-proclamations about my religion or spirituality that I cannot uphold.
People cannot call themselves Christians if they hold hatred and dislike for those who don’t uphold the same sexual orientation as themselves, or if they have skin that is darker than their own. They cannot say they uphold a Christian lifestyle if they go about spreading lies, rumors and gossip.
I pity those who claim to be something, someone they are not.
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[29 June 2006] |
In my recent effort to lose weight, I have decided to give up soda. I wanted to give up all caffeine period, but I deemed that a bad idea, given that I don’t think I would ever be able to give up coffee cold turkey.
So, I’ve decided to start off slow, and eliminate soda from my diet. Considering I was drinking it everyday, I think this is a very good way to start off this process.
I have also got into contact with Ballys and my mother is supposed to be signing me up sometime this week. If all goes accordingly, I will have my tour and opening session this coming weekend.
I don’t like to set goals, because I usually get discouraged if I don’t meet them. Instead, I go into it with an open mind, with mere hopes of accomplishing something…anything. Thus, I am never disappointed.
I am hopeful…for now.
Edit
This entry was written several days prior to today's posting, and I am happy to say that I haven't drank soda in four days!! Yay for me!
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| 60,000 Dreams... |
[29 June 2006] |
A guy came into my work today to buy a car, and since all the deals and paperwork come to me to be imputed into our computer system, I always like to check the incomes of applicants.
Anyway…this guy came in and purchased a new hybrid car. He’s a CPA (whatever that is) and makes $60,000 a month. I was blown away by this because it’s 60 times what I make and it got me thinking…
What would I do with $60,000 a month?
I think the first thing I would do is pay off all my outstanding balances on my credit cards. That way I wouldn’t have to worry about accruing over limit fees, late fees…all that credit bullshit. By doing this, I would minimize my bills every month.
Next, I would pay back my dad all the money I owe him for my car and the money he’s lent me for school books and such. That way he would have absolutely nothing to complain about and he would have no way of threatening me, by means of taking away “the car [he] paid for.”
After paying off my “debts”, I think my first purchase – as most people with new money would agree – would be that of a new car. I wouldn’t purchase some glitzy, expensive BMV or Lexus; rather, I would purchase something that is more me…like a Honda Civic (because I have always loved those cars!)
Next, I would move out of my dad’s house, therefore relieving him of any financial obligation to me. I would probably rent an apartment, although I would be able to afford a house. A house would be too big for me at this age. Instead, I’d get a nice little apartment…again, nothing too glitzy or extravagant.
No doubt I’d still have an ample supply of money after doing all this in one month, and I would take some money and buy some new clothes for myself. Lord knows I haven’t gone on a shopping splurge since I’ve lived with my father…so that’s what I would do.
Some of the money would be invested into a savings account each month, so that I would have something in case an emergency or anything came up in the future.
Wishful thinking this all is, I know…but it’s nice to dream.
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| Wish List |
[24 June 2006] |
CDs on my wish list:
Fefe Dobson
Cassie
Jeannie Ortega (not out until August)
Christina Milian
CDs that look interesting:
Christina Aguilara
Wreckers
Jewel
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| I Believe... |
[24 June 2006] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Neyo - "So Sick" |
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My horoscope was disgustingly on target...as always.
"After all the energy you put into someone, letting them go is tough. But it's right."
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